


bounded in a nutshell

by CadetDru



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Crushes, Dreams and Nightmares, Gen, Greensleeves, Hurt/Comfort, Lullabies, M/M, Mutual Pining, NoNsexual kisses, Panic Attacks, Season/Series 01, Singing, Sleepy Kisses, Tea, document storage, soothing, tea fixes everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:40:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26184337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CadetDru/pseuds/CadetDru
Summary: Jon hadn't thought that he was working late until he heard the shout. There was someone in the archives, startled and in pain. He was on his feet in an instant. It came from document storage. No one else seemed to be responding to it. He had no weapon to grab, besides his own panic. The way that his back and hips ached when he ran told him that he'd been seated for a long time.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 8
Kudos: 129





	bounded in a nutshell

**Author's Note:**

> "O God, I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams."
> 
> Hamlet

Jon hadn't thought that he was working late until he heard the shout. There was someone in the archives, startled and in pain. He was on his feet in an instant. It came from document storage. No one else seemed to be responding to it. He had no weapon to grab, besides his own panic. The way that his back and hips ached when he ran told him that he'd been seated for a long time. 

It had just been a few weeks since the Prentiss incident at Martin's apartment. He was living in document storage. Jon hadn't been able to tell if the cry had been Martin's voice. When Jon knocked and opened the door simultaneously -- responding quickly but politely, alerting the inhabitants of the room that he was coming in to help-- it had dissolved into a more general kind of crying. 

Martin was sitting on the edge of the cot, bedding tangled up around his hips. His bare legs were planted firmly. His broad hands were covering the whole of his face. He pulled them away, palms pressed together in a simulacrum of prayer. Maybe he was really praying. Jon didn't know his belief system. 

Jon was fully dressed and staring, still holding onto the doorknob. He was ready to rush into the room but the way that Martin was sitting made him wait. "Martin, are you alright?"

Martin met his eyes, shook his head, and started to cry again. He managed to crumple further in on himself. He was trying to shrink away from the world. 

Jon let go of the door and came over to the cot. "I heard a shout," Jon said. "I just wanted to be sure you were okay."

"I had a nightmare," Martin sobbed.

"I guessed as much," Jon said. Establishing the obvious facts could build into the specifics. He knelt next to Martin, looking up to Martin's downturned face. Martin's right hand covered his face, left gripping the tangled blanket. Jon stared at the hand; it seemed to show just as much naked emotion as any other part of Martin but it seemed to be less intimate.

Martin continued crying. 

"Well, this can be a scary place after dark," Jon said, trying to joke. He stayed knelt on the floor, ignoring the complaints of his knees. 

"This wasn't anything...spooky. Just, you know." Martin sniffed. "All the ways I've failed and all the ways that I'll never be good enough no matter how hard I try…" The words fell out of his mouth at a breakneck pace. 

Jon couldn't bring himself to look at Martin's face or to take his hand. He just sat there and felt something inside of him break. "That's not true," he said softly. It was little more than a breath. He didn't expect that Martin had heard it, that Martin could even have seen his mouth move despite their proximity.

"I dreamt… God, it was so stupid," Martin said, his voice less heart-wrenchingly sad. "Amongst other things, I dreamt that my boyfriend broke up with me…"

"I didn't know…" Jon started. 

Martin replaced his grip on the blanket. "I don't have a boyfriend. I haven't in ages. He just was and then he...wasn't."

Jon pressed his lips together, trying not to laugh. "The man of your dreams was an idiot, then."

Martin laughed. "That wasn't what…"

"That wasn't the bad part?" Jon supplied.

"I was gone for two weeks," Martin said, starting to cry again. Two weeks, and no one had noticed. Two weeks, and Jon hadn't questioned it. "Some day, I'll just disappear for good and no one will notice."

Jon reached for Martin's hand, shifted so they were eye to eye. "I'm so sorry. You're safe now."

"I'm surrounded by spooky documents in a spooky building and being comforted by my spooky boss."

"I'm a normal boss," Jon said. "Nothing spooky about me."

Martin nodded. 

"You won't disappear," Jon said. "I won't let you."

"I don't think that's something you can help," Martin said.

A heartbeat, and Jon realized he was getting closer to kissing Martin's forehead to calm him down. That was not an appropriate move from his superior. He released Martin's hand and stood up. 

"Why are you still here?" Martin said. He reached for Jon's hand. "I mean, still at work. Not why in this room. I'm glad you're here with me. But you shouldn't be here at work."

"Didn't realize it was 'still.'" Jon said. "I was here, time passed without my permission, I'm still here." He cleared his throat. "I could tell you a bedtime story," Jon offered.

Martin laughed. "I do like hearing you talk, but that's a little too much like work."

"I've been reliably informed my voice is my best feature," Jon said.

"And yet you never sleep. How does your voice stay so strong?"

"Must be the tea you bring me."

"You'd notice the tea not showing up. That's how you'd know if I disappeared."

"I do appreciate what you do for me," Jon said. He just appreciated it more when it was successful, quality work. 

Martin let Jon's hand go. Martin moved to disentangle himself from the cot. "Speaking of which, I'll make us some tea now."

Jon turned away while Martin sorted out the cot and his own self. He forced himself go walk away. Martin was wearing rumpled trousers when he joined Jon in the hallway. "I do need to get back to work," Jon said when they got to the break room. 

Martin put the kettle in. "No, I need to sleep and you should also go home and sleep so we can both work in the morning. Later this morning."

"I thought I was going to tuck you in and tell you a bedtime story."

"I can't tell if you're joking."

"Lullaby?" Jon offered.

"Do you know any?" Martin asked. 

"Of course," Jon said, despite the fact that he couldn't think of any. "I was in a band, you know. In university."

"You do have a good voice," Martin said. His attention seemed to drift off.

"Lemon and honey," Jon said. 

Martin snapped back to their current circumstance. "Sorry?"

"Lemon and honey to soothe my throat after a show. That always did the trick."

Martin made the tea for both of them, Jon apparently not being judged worthy of such a task. He added neither lemon nor honey. "Just talk to me," Martin said.

They walked together back to Martin's temporary home. 

"You're a good person, Martin. You try to be good, try to please people. You don't need to try so hard. It's just... some people want more than you can give them. That's life."

"You're just saying that because you hate everyone."

"Everyone and everything," Jon agreed solemnly. "Especially spiders."

Martin gave a laugh. "So, this is me." 

Jon gave Martin a one-armed hug from the side. He kissed Martin's cheek. "I do like you." He turned so Martin could change, waited until he heard the sounds of Martin under the blanket on the cot. He sat next to the cot. "What would you like to talk about?"

"You just kissed me."

The desire to gaslight burned within Jon. He could pretend it had never happened. Instead he nodded. "Sorry."

"Oh my God, what are you apologizing for?" Martin said. The anguish seemed to be gone, replaced with an amused annoyance that Jon was more used to.

"I'm supposed to be soothing you to sleep." Jon cocked his head to the side. "You seem happier, but I wouldn't say soothed." 

"You wouldn't kiss me." 

Jon reached to stroke Martin's hair. He was letting himself grow bolder. Martin moved into the touch. "You need a human connection. We all need touch."

"You feel guilty," Martin said, his voice just this side of sulky.

Jon nodded. "I feel incredibly guilty and scared because we almost lost you. I wanted to make sure that you're here."

This was clearly not the confession that Martin wanted. 

"Go to sleep, Martin. Let that replace your bad dream."

"You can't have kissed me."

"Conversation clearly isn't working…" Jon said. "Lullaby or story?"

"Lullaby."

Jon tried to think of a good song. He laughed. "All I can think of is Greensleeves."

"That's...fine," Martin said, breaking up the lie with a yawn. 

"Alas, my love, you do me wrong to cast me off discourteously; and I have loved you oh so long, delighting in your company."

Martin started to snore soon enough. Jon waited to be sure that Martin was truly asleep before he left the room. 

Jon took his cup of tea to his office, eventually nodding off at his desk. If he dreamt, he had no memory of it. 

He woke to Martin, dressed and much less rumpled, replacing the one cup with a new one. "It's not morning already," he said.

"Afraid so," Martin said. "You can use the cot for a little nap? I'll put on fresh sheets."

"That's… that's not necessary," Jon stammered.

"Bedtime story?"

"Thank you, no." Jon smiled as he raised the cup to his lips. "Your dreamboat was a fool to let you go." 

"Was that the point you were trying to make?" Martin asked.

"You needed connection," Jon said. "Didn't you?"

"Oh! Yes. No, I… I appreciated the effort." Martin's nervous laugh stayed even as he left Jon's office.


End file.
